Once I learned that having a child won’t be easy, I suddenly was seeing babies everywhere. I am sure that they were always there, but now whenever I go, I tend to see parents with children. It is annoying at times, ..actually most of the time. I tend to constantly look at them, make a comment how cute they are, and often wonder why? Why I can’t be that parent walking with a baby.? Why? Why?

So there is jealousy, although when I think about it more, I know it is not right to be jealous of other parent. I don’t know their story. Maybe they were trying for a child for a long time too and now they are enjoying it. But When I am in that situation, I don’t think positive.  I am selfish and focus on myself, and my unfulfilled needs.

Is it normal? Am I going crazy? I don’t think so. I think it is a normal reaction that many of us have when we want something so badly, but we can’t have it. A t least for now…I hope.  I also know that I need to pay attention to my feelings and emotions, and talk about it…so I won’t go crazy. It is so easy to cross that line. 

Until the next time…

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